You know me. I’m optimistic, grateful, and even keeled, and this shines through in my blog and social media. And I am honored to exist in a space where I’m surrounded by men I respect and adore.

That said, I feel compelled to address a mild trend I’ve noticed over the last few months. It is faint and the cases are few, but it has made enough of an impression that I feel compelled to touch upon it today. Oddly, I – the woman behind the The Fearousal Phenomenon 😂 – have experienced a handful of situations in which men mistake my brand’s cornerstone EQ and intimacy for boundary malleability.

Some men have gotten lost in the verisimilitude.

They can’t understand how the erotic fiction I write and the open tone with which I communicate correlate with the parameters and transactional elements inherent to any escort/client relationship. I’ll admit that I’ve crafted certain elements of my brand to be self-screening, and that has never felt as relevant as it does today.

We all make mistakes, and the tone of this is less “I’m pissed.” and more “C’mmon, guys. Really? We’re doing this?” But because I value my safety, the safety of my clients, overall discretion, my time, and myself, I’ve written the following five-point guide to successfully booking me and remaining a client in good standing. 

1. Please don’t make your first point of contact a twenty paragraph long introductory email that hits upon all the commonalities you perceive between us but is devoid of any screening details.

In the interest of expressing an acknowledgement of protocol and boundaries, it is best practice to visit my booking page and follow the prompts. That said, personally speaking, a brief inquiry like “Hi, Alyx. My name is ___. I will be in Chicago on 8/14 and would love to see you that evening at 7pm for 3 hours. I will send all screening info if you’re available.” is also acceptable. 

2. Please don’t refuse to submit personal information and insist I screen you solely through P411 or via companion references because “you are very Googlable.” 

I spend time with many highly researchable souls who respect my verification practices and who see them as valuable. In fact, my first arrangement client – about whom I write in What Differentiates a Bad Client From a Good One – repeatedly cited my stringent screening process and my sense of discretion as outlined in my FAQ as two of the elements that initially drew him to me. I was his first companion.

3. Please don’t become so enraptured by my erotic fiction and driven by your libido that you fill your booking form and/or emails with smut.

This is self explanatory.

4. Please don’t see me repeatedly, dangle an international trip before me, and then ask for a discounted Chicago rate “because we’re friends and you need to save up.”

While my one hour offering makes a rare appearance now and then, the rest of my rates remain the same and are intentionally crafted. Furthermore, one of the beautiful aspects of this realm is that every companion within it curates a different rate structure. By asking me for uncompensated time instead of seeking the company of someone who might be a better financial fit you show a lack of respect and a disregard of boundaries. 

5. And finally – and this is very important – please don’t place me in the awkward position of having to cut our date short by groping or grinding on me me when we’re in public.

This has happened precisely twice in my twelve years as Alyx, and that is two times too many. When you take me out, you’re taking out a woman who exudes confidence, is 5’8, fit, and is striking. I’m memorable, even when my ink is obscured. And you? You’re most likely married.

Light and discreet public displays of affection are a delight, but behaving like a horny teenager and placing us on display is embarrassing and potentially dangerous. There is a distinct difference between leaving a seed of curiosity in a bystander’s mind and waving a flag that says, “I PAID HER!!”

It’s pretty simple. All will be (better than) well and our paths will intwine as long as you follow these basic guidelines and screen successfully. 

And to the vast majority of men who enter my inbox and orbit? Those of you who know how to behave but are also really, really good at misbehaving when it’s situationally appropriate? I adore you! Keep it up. 😉 

xoA