This work of erotic fiction was originally penned in September, 2022 and was added to on August 6, 2023. I’ve peppered new turn-ons throughout the list, so please consume it in it’s entirety. 

What can a man do to turn me on? He can:

1. Moan.

2. Look me in the eyes and tell me that he hasn’t felt this way in a very long time.

3. Randomly produce a Rubik’s cube from his briefcase and teach me how to solve it as we lounge naked in bed.

4. When we’re alone, listen to me describe various unrequited fantasies in delicious detail… then help me turn them into reality.

5. Let me do that one thing I’ve only been able to do since undergoing an adult tonsillectomy in 2019.

6. Hold my hair while my head is betwixt.

7. Let me gently tie and tease within an inch of capacity.

8. Ask me to workshop his Linkedin copy during our date.

9. Tell me that he’s nervous because it’s our first date, then let me assuage his jitters.

10. Fifty dates later, tell me that he still get butterflies when he thinks of me. (And that he fucking loves it.)

11. Kiss my neck in the heat of the moment.

12. Trust me with the parts of himself he can’t share with most anyone else.

13. Grab my firm ass with equally firm conviction.

14. Make it slow and deep.

15. Let me ply him with champagne ___jobs.

16. Protest when I declare my intent to spoil him, but allow me follow through with it anyway.

17. Share his favorite music with me.

18. Take a business call while I tease him from the bed.

19. Go camping or glamping with me.

20. Take me riding on the open range. (I grew up competing in the equestrian sports of eventing and of dressage!)

21. Sport a lingering hint of soap instead of a cloying cloud of cologne.

22. At least pretend to tolerate my sense of humor.

23. Put on his glasses so that he can read the menu.

24. Inspire me to write.

25. Dad jokes. Lots of dad jokes.

26. Invest in my investments.

27. Teach me something new.

28. Be his most authentic self, idiosyncrasies and all.