FAQs & Faves

And intriguing insights.

In addition to having a BS in human services, I am a certified personal trainer. Over the years, I’ve worked within the realms of social work, personal training, and startups. While on hiatus earlier this year, I worked on a really cool guerrilla marketing campaign for a Brooklyn based company and had a blast!

 

 

 

“Where is your Chicago incall?”

It is a truly luxurious, beautiful & spacious private location convenient to Gold Coast, River North, West Loop, South Loop, Lincoln Park. (No, really. It is this widely accessible.)

 

 

 

“Where do you go for Chicago outcalls?”

Throughout Chicagoland, including some suburbs. Four or five-star hotels only, and no private residences. (Except for in extraordinarily rare situations.)

 

 

 

“Where did you go earlier this year, and – follow up – what happened to your old site / blog / vlog?”

I stepped away to avail myself of a highly advantageous relationship and work on my Hustl-Up brand (which I decided to temporarily shelve) as well as a really cool Brooklyn-based startup. In the process, I accidentally deleted my entire site and somehow caused Vimeo – the platform on which all of my video diary entries were hosted – to give me the boot. 🤡

See this blog post: A $40,000 Dress Covered in Red Wine

 

 

 

“What happened to your OnlyFans?”

Upon returning from hiatus, I considered reinstating my OnlyFans and stocking it with my existing edging content. But then I realized that I prefer to not have one, despite recognizing the role it played in client procurement between 2020 and 2021. I’m not on the hunt for a billion new men, my time here is finite, and I am content.

I was, however, excited to repost this shadowy, smutty clip in the interest of teasing you. 😉

 

 

 

“What do you do to protect my privacy?”

This website was built by and is hosted offshore by a highly reputable agency that works solely for companions.

I require real world information in order to book, and do so because it ensures my safety as well as the safety of those with whom I spend time. Information submitted via my secure booking form is immediately sent to my Protonmail account, and I delete your information / empty my trash folder after the successful conclusion of our first date.

I also offer you the option of submitting your verification directly through email, and follow the same protocol.

My reputation is easily researched, and despite having accidentally deleted the majority of my site upon embarking this year’s hiatus, my online footprint is vast. If I was known for indiscretion and lack of consideration for the privacy of others, you would find allusions to that while researching me.

 

 

 

“What can I expect at your incall?”

Should we meet at my extremely discreet and private den of sin, you will find yourself in a beautiful, sleek and serene setting. I am also happy to book luxury hotel accommodations for us. Regardless of the backdrop, I will provide you with a gorgeous and well stocked (scent-free toiletries, etc.) bathroom, plenty of water, and flickering candlelight and sensual mood music will abound.

 

 

 

“Can we party together? What if I see you after I’ve been drinking for hours?”

While I’m rarely asked anything remotely like this anymore, I feel compelled to point out that I do not do drugs, nor do I drink to excess. (I spend most of my time teetotaling for aesthetic purposes.) And I refuse to spend time with people who are drunk or on drugs. If we connect and I find that you are anything past “relaxed after one or two drinks”, I will not proceed with the appointment and you will incur my cancellation fee.

 

 

 

“What can I do to render you smitten?”

Take a look at this blog post I wrote. 😉 It also includes nods to various date ideas upon which I’ll soon expand!

 

 

 

“I’d love to take you to dinner! What are your Chicago favorites?” 

First and foremost, I must ask: Have you read “The Great Dinner Date Experiment”? It is worth a peek!

I work with a nutritionist to maintain a high protein, high (complex) carb, low fat eating method while adjusting my calories as needed as per my DEXA body fat scan results. That said, food is one of my love languages and I will always gladly make room in my life for fabulous meals with equally fabulous men!

I love everything from laid back and divey to Michelin starred, and here is a small sampling of some faves:

Ever, Moody Tongue, Club Lago, HaiSous, Oriole, Chez Joel, Beatnik on the River, Elske, Le Colonial, Kumiko, The Weiners Circle, the empanadas at my favorite watering hole. (I will fill you in once / if you become a member of my inner sanctum.)

 

 

 

“Why do you love kettlebells so much?”

My patented physique – one that is at once strong and soft – is the byproduct of years of kettlebell training. I do not train isolated vanity muscles as much as I do the deep ones supporting my core and posterior chain, and this leaves me with a look that is curvy and feminine yet undeniably strong.

Kettlebell also promotes a strong pelvic floor, superlative grip strength, and excellent cardiorespiratory endurance. All of these qualities are invaluable in the bedroom.

Furthermore, complex kettlebell movements encourage your body and brain to work in such a way that it promotes mobility and stability for life (so important for those of us who are no longer in our 20’s), positive neurological repatterining, and more. More on tall of this in an upcoming blog post. 😉

Click to watch me cleaning two 28kg kettlebells – >100lbs total weight! 

 

 

 

“Do you have reviews?”

I do have reviews on TER, and they are stellar. However, review culture is indiscreet, and after amassing nearly 100 of them since 2012, I have implemented a no (more) review policy. Click here to read about this decision and view an assortment of client testimonials.

 

 

 

“What do you expect of me if I’m visiting you?”

Please be communicative and alert me to any delays. Please arrive discreetly and be ready to adjourn briefly to your private bathroom after we kiss hell for the sake of hand washing & breath freshening.

 

 

 

“What types of clients do you see?”

I see respectful verified men aged 25+ and am happy to visit with people of all races, ethnicities and body compositions. I reserve the right to turn someone away if they are under the influence of drugs or are drunk, or if they do drugs or drink to excess during the date.

 

 

 

“Do you feel apprehension about being a “face / tattoo out” provider?”

I feel zero apprehension. My family, friends, and colleagues (in the fitness realm and beyond) know about Alyx. I screen thoroughly and keep a tight circle of clients.

 

 

 

 

“What is / are your favorite…”

colors neon orange, emerald, amethyst

music My music library is vast and spans generations, and I would love to share my favorite playlists with you during our dates. I love vast swathes of styles / artists stretching from Baroque to Alt-J to Garth Brooks. From Calexio to Leonard Cohen. I am in love with this incredible group from Mali, and I link to a few of my favorite alt country / indie / roots bands in this blog post.

en suite date snacks raw almonds, berries, charcuterie, sushi, foie gras (seriously)

en suite date libations Still water and mineral water with lime, preferably both at the same! That way I may pretend that I’m imbibing. I (mostly) quit drinking in November 2022 in the interest of aesthetics and muscle synthesis, and while I may be convinced to enjoy a little bubbly with a superlative suitor every now and then, I spend most of my days and nights teetotaling.

micro micrometazoans the mighty tardigrade (the subject of one of my tattoos)

standup comedy bit I go into amusing detail in this Twitter video 😂

architecture Brutalist (retro-futuristic + pragmatic = fantastic)

artist Salvador Dali (I own an original, thanks to a client!)

book While it is impossible to chose a singular favorite book, I have chosen to ink excerpts from The Unbearable Lightness of Being and Breakfast of Champions upon my flesh