Think back to the last time you were able to breathe deeply into an intimate experience with someone. The last time you were able to release anxiety and overthink, be true to yourself, and embrace the physical and emotional sensations of the moment.

When were you last able to be completely honest with yourself and with your partner about the types of pleasure and connection you want?

What went into this experience? What characteristics did your partner embody? How did you two communicate? What lead up to the moments in which you were able to feel such simultaneous pleasure and lightness?

And if you’ve never been able to let go like this, I want you to think about what it would take to get you there.

What type of partner would you need? How would you communicate your desires, worries, and curiosities to them? What do you feel would be your biggest barrier to successfully leaning into your most unencumbered sexual self? What can they do to make your journey feel comfortable, pleasurable, and intuitive?

The journey to sexual self-actualization is nonlinear, and it behooves us to take a step back from time to time and reflect on what we want, what has worked in the past, and what has fallen short. I hope that this little exercise helps you do just that, because – at the end of the day – I want you to be happy!