The girlfriend you were never allowed.

In my experience spanning twelve on-again, off-again years as a companion, I often reflect on why my clients choose to pursue me in particular. Of course, some simply want to get laid. But those are the one-offs in my world, and my long-term client’s origin stories are more profound and impactful. The trust shown to me by the men in my orbit is beautiful, and I will always be honored by it.

Men want to feel desired, feel less alone, and learn more about themselves. They want to explore hardwired fantasies with which their partners aren’t comfortable, learn workarounds for sexually impactful health considerations, and reintroduce intimacy after its dissolution within the context of their marriage.

And it recently dawned on me that on top of any number of factors listed above, the men with whom I’ve shared the most impactful, long-term arrangement-based relationships – including the two in which I am currently involved – share a common thread: I am the woman who got away.

I am the woman they craved but never pursued because they felt they needed to maintain a certain appearance and adhere to tradition.

By their own words, they have always been wildly attracted to women like me: feminine with an edge, strong, visually striking, empowered, and free-spirited. And they often tell of a specific passionate beauty whom they regret losing. These are the men who, when selecting a life partner, chose the woman who was the most cohesive addition to their status and career trajectory. And while life is objectively excellent, thoughts of what could have been surface from time to time. And these thoughts grow more distracting with the perpetuation of long term monogamy.

So making the decision to book me was their take two. And from my perspective? I’ve long-professed my affinity for suits with secret nonconformist streaks. They and power nerds are my kryptonite. So it seems that – sometimes – things just work out in the most unexpected and beautiful way.